The biggest learning curve of my life!

My boss told me to take a break!

caboozan — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 16:21:55 +0000

Hello blogger world! How have you been? I’m great…so to speak! The first six months I was really ‘obsessed’ with the books and other peoples looks/words, but now I’m going with the flow and feel great about it! I’m not a go with the flow type of girl-I think that’s been my hardest adjustment. I like to make to-do list, and know what’s coming next. Our first growth spurt or two were really hard because babies don’t come with manuals to say ‘this is a great spurt. This is what happens and this is how long it takes’. I could have really used one of those! A few months ago, a friend (another new mom) and I decided to stop being so obsessesed with the sleep conversation and just’go with the flow’. And I have been! I still try my best to keep the little one on her routine and get her down for nap (by whatever means work) but if the nap doesn’t work out-I’m ok with that. My “boss” has taught me to trust my instincts, speak up, and do what comes naturally! Thanks Boss!

I’m going back to work soon! :’( I’m going to miss her so much! I know that no one is going to care for her that way I do and will, but I know that my mom and MIL will do their best and love her as much as possible; and I can’t ask for anything better…except to win the lotto so I can stay home!

Dreaming

caboozan — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 19:24:41 +0000

It’s hard to believe that I’m a mom and a mom to a six and a half month old! It still feels like a dream. Then again a lot of the momentous events in my life, both good and bad, still feel like a dream-not always a good one but certainly not like a reality. I barely remember being pregnant! Until I read my journal! Always keep a journal! . I certainly remember my labour though! Lol! I can laugh about it now!
So, my daughter is halfway through her first year of life. She’s learnt so much and I through her. It’s been quite incredible watching her grow and it makes me proud to see her learn new skills. For instance, she lets me know when she’s tired and I put her down and she goes to sleep. She lets me know when she has to poo so I put her on the toilet…it’s certainly cut down on the amount of diapers we use. I think she’s a genius!

Just kidding by the way about her going to sleep without effort and using the toilet! That’s just me dreaming!

Sleep habits of the insane!

caboozan — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 02:11:57 +0000

Some babies are easy sleepers – go down at 7pm and sleep till 7 am, almost right away. Some, wake hourly and some are light sleepers. I’m really not sure where my daughter falls in there. We’ve done the ‘hold for 25 minutes’ thing to ensure she’s sleeping before putting her down. We’ve also done the put her down after she’s sleeping thing – that didn’t work in the beginning. Wakes right back up. Now, we can do it. We live right near a fire hall and though she’s a relatively light sleeper, the sirens don’t bother her. Now, at 6 months, she goes down about 6:30pm till 7:30am and wakes twice to eat – which really isn’t bad at all! But over the past couple of months, her sleep habits have become my obsession. ”She should sleep all night”, “don’t hold her”, “let her cry”, “my baby sleeps all night – give yours cereal before bed”. The cereal thing doesn’t work by the way!

Well, as a new mom I was in search of how to make it right! It didn’t dawn on me, until after trying a form of sleep training that I need to follow my gut. What feels right is what is right!

Let me quickly rundown sleep training. There’s CIO (cry it out) where you leave your baby to cry for a set time that you increase after each time you go in to ‘settle them’. I know people who have done this and they’ve ended up letting their baby cry for 11 hours the first night, 7 hours the second, 3 the third, and then by the fourth night the baby slept without waking. Wouldn’t you just go to sleep if you didn’t think anyone was coming to make you feel better? Anyhoo, CIO wasn’t for us! We just couldn’t do that to ourselves. Then there’s pick up /put up, where you go in and settle by picking baby up and then putting down, and you keep going back in – when baby cries you go in and settle and repeat. (CIO, you go in after 5 minutes, then wait 10, then wait 15 and so on). Then there’s the no cry – when baby even thinks to start to cry you settle them. My mom wonders ‘what ever happened to just putting the baby down and closing the door?’. All these techniques (aside from, do what feels right) are for those parents accustomed to getting up every hour or two 24 hours a day. Can lack of sleep make you insane? I think so! Why have I been looking into these techniques? Well, I’ve been under the impression that babies should go down easy and sleep through the night. I’ve assumed that we have a problem with sleeping with our daughter. We don’t. More often than not, she can be a bit of a challenge to put down but as she’s growing she’s coming into her own better sleeping habits. For the most part though (and for the past few months) she goes down for 10 – 12 hours and wakes twice to eat. I’ve finally realized, and been told, that that is not a problem. So why have I become so obsessed? I think being a first time mom has made me more neurotic than I already am!

More to come on sleep in the coming posts! *yawn

Shortcuts

caboozan — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 20:48:36 +0000

Want a quick way to lose thirty pounds? Get pregnant, wait almost ten months, go into labour and delivery, wait a few weeks and… Voila!

Want a quick way to feel like a complete moron? Get pregnant, wait almost ten months, deliver an absolutely perfect child ( cause they’re yours), and start reading parenting books and listening to “well meaning” advice of others!

A questionable adventure

caboozan — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 00:22:27 +0000

Hello strange world! I have no idea where new moms would find the time to blog everyday or how in the U.S. you’re back at work within 3 months. Between being tired (though not nearly as much as in the beginning) and being ruled by the total crazy upheaval that is a first born, my life – my time – is completely turned around! I plan my day around my new schedule! Her routine, and working within it, is not only important for me to maintain it but it makes things easier. I’m not going to plan to go out at the same time I know she’ll be ready to go down for a nap because she’ll be cranky and miserable and then I won’t enjoy myself! As she’s growing I’m learning! Being a moderate type A personality I can tell you that the need for organization, schedules/plans, and a well thought out to do list isn’t possible with a baby! That has so far been one of the most frustrating lessons… I never know what’s next! I’m learning to go with the flow more and have to accept that right now I can’t do everything I’d like to do in a day! Some babies are easier-don’t want to be held a lot; some babies are harder-cry all the time; bottom line is, in the beginning you’re working around them! I’ve had so many people say-oh, the first six months are the worst! Don’t worry it gets easier after that! At least I know I’m not alone!

So, the other day I went to my first mom and baby group! It was really good! I enjoyed it! My daughter was one of 6 other baby girls and one boy. The youngest was 3 months, 3 (including mine) were 4 months, there were two 5 month olds, and a six month old. There were toys and songs and of course conversation! We talked about some frustrations and some cures for gas Then at the end we sang some songs! I’ll go back! The women seemed nice and I’m looking forward to the next one!

At one point I had to change her and she was crying and there was another baby being changed beside her, and she put her hand out to my daughter so she would stop crying. It was very cute.

And now… for the questionable adventure part of my post. So, last weekend my sister-in-law, her husband and their 4 kids (9 years down to 6 months) moved to Addis Ababa in Ethiopia. Why? No, not for work. No, not cause he’s from there. No, not with their religious group or for religious reasons. No, no, no, whatever you are going to ask. A simpler life – maybe. The REAL answer none of us are really sure why. They’ve been there for one week. Their flight left Toronto 2 hours late and therefore they missed their connecting flight and had to sit at the connection for 6 hours instead of 3. When they got to Ethiopia, they could not find/retrieve his computer (which he needs for work – with it he was going to be able to continue to work for his employer that’s based here through the internet) nor could they find/retrieve the baby’s playpen/crib. As the week has gone by, some progress has been made – the kids have been enrolled in school for when it starts … September? We’re hoping they’ll be home by Christmas. :-P

p.s. UPDATE they came back 2 days after I wrote this – safe and sound in Canada!

The Mother of all inventions?!

caboozan — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 00:14:29 +0000

So, I’ve spoken before about the baby bjorn which my daughter loves but I nor my husband love! It hurts my upper back if I wear it longer than 10 minutes and it hurts my husband’s lower back. A couple of weeks ago – Mother’s Day weekend- my mom, daughter, and I went to Montreal. While there I went to a store called Bummis to get a new baby bjorn that had some kind of back support. Well this store won’t sell this product since it does cause a lot of back pain. And I mean, beaucoup. Everyone I know that has one or has used one complains of the pain. The store clerk showed me a front carrier called beco baby carrier. It’s organic cotton and the one I bought is brown with a print on the front of different colour flowers and has this ‘lid’ that goes over the baby’s head and snaps to the shoulder straps to protect from weather or anything. So, I put my daughter in it… hated it! But I loved it! I noticed a difference right away! The relief of back pain! Don’t get me wrong… I’m still carrying a baby!!! But I don’t have the same strain. If I go for a long walk my back does still feel sore but not like the muscle pain from wearing the baby bjorn for longer than 15 minutes! Apparently she hated the baby bjorn at first too. So, we practiced by putting her in when she was happy or to go for a walk or for just a few minutes. Well, there is success she seems to like it now. However, I can only wear her in it in the house for about ten minutes before she gets upset whereas the baby bjorn I could just wear in the house wih her quite happy or go outside. She seems to prefer the beco as an outside mode of transportation. Anyway, what brigs me to this post is that I had to go and get the laundry and she needed to go down for a nap but was quite fussy and as much as I tried she wouldn’t conk out. I knew the beco wouldn’t cut it for the relief we both needed so in a moment of quiet desperation I put on the baby bjorn and within literally two minutes she was out like a light. I went downstairs and got the laundry and yes now my back is sore. Hey, at least she fell to sleep!

Burning Eyes

caboozan — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 00:13:40 +0000

Have you ever been so tired that your eyes feel cold and like they’re burning? That’s how my eyes feel right now! The grey rainy weather certainly doesn’t help. My wee little babe is 9 weeks old now and sleeping longer at night…but we’re not as lucky during the day. Some days she takes a few good naps during the day, and some days she doesn’t. The days she doesn’t lead me to desperation when I turn to the babybjorn so I can get things done and hopefully get her to sleep. My days have turned into me thinking, calculating, and planning when poops, naps, feedings and how much, happened and will happen. Do I eat lunch? Nope! Do I bathe or brush my teeth? Not usually! But with each day brings more smiles, more eye contact, more pleasure and comfort in my new role, and more confidence that I’m getting the hang of things. It’s amazing that amidst all my worries and concerns (and 20 years of child care experience), it’s my husband who says “don’t worry, we’re doing everything right, and it will be ok. Just be patient. She’s a baby and getting adjusted”. I call the doctor when I notice her poop looks more like snot then poo. I call the doctor when her poop is watery. I call the doctor when she toots. I call the doctor to prescribe me some ativan! Actually, all I’ve really been taking is extra-strength tylenol and going for massages.

I started doing yoga this past weekend and am hoping that with stretching, heating pads, and constantly reminding myself to lower my shoulders that my back will start to feel better. Bit by bit I want to get my body back in shape!

Slave to a six week old

caboozan — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 00:55:25 +0000

Yes it’s true! I’m a slave to a 6 week old! It’s 2:28 am and I’m standing in the dark in my living in my pj’s with my baby strapped into the baby bjorn which (as previously mentioned) is strapped to my body. I’m thumbing away on my apple itouch and swaying back and forth & side to side so she’ll go to sleep and in turn I’ll go to sleep. She got up at 12:45 am and my husband changed her and I fed her. She was fussy and didn’t seem ‘in the mood’ to sit still and take her bottle. After an hour she was still wide eyed and being held was apparently not on her agenda. I laid her in her crib and that lasted about ten minutes. Then I made another bottle and she didn’t want that. My husband finally got up and took her but… she didn’t want that. I thought maybe laying down beside me and not being held might do the trick. So, we got in bed. After ten seconds her eyes started to close! Yes!!! She was going to fall asleep and so was I! Wishful thinking! She quickly opened her eyes and started to cry. Maybe she has gas? So, out came the gripe water. And as a final solution… the back breaker! The baby bjorn was put on at an ungodly hour to ensure my daughter would go to sleep! Sure enough as I thumb away on the touch screen, she’s sleeping. Now I have to pee! Well, off I go to the bathroom baby et al! You can come too!

Here lies the next question-sit and fall asleep on the sofa or stay awake long enough to put her in her bassinet and crawl into bed, wait till round 4 where I tap my husband on the back and say ‘babe, your turn’!

Postpartum

caboozan — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 00:54:13 +0000

First let me define post partum depression for you. According to my go-to site (Wikipedia) Post partum depression is a form of clinical depression which can affect women after childbirth. It usually starts in the first few months, and may last up to several months or even a year. Symptoms include sadness, fatigue, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, reduced libido, crying episodes, anxiety, and irritability. It is sometimes assumed that postpartum depression is caused by a lack of vitamins, but studies tend to show that more likely causes are the significant changes in a woman’s hormones during pregnancy.

Now, a postpartum appointment happens 6 weeks after childbirth and according to babyweekly.com it is an appointment to make sure you are recovering well (physically and emotionally) after delivering your baby. Now, these are what is part of a standard postpartum checkup: your doctor will perform a complete physical and ask you questions about your recovery and your baby; this is also a good time to ask your doctor any questions you have about your recovery, postpartum depression, breastfeeding,formula feeding or anything else that’s on your mind. They will check your weight and blood pressure to make sure it is back to normal. Next, your uterus and breasts will be checked to make sure they have returned to its normal size by six weeks postpartum, even though your stomach muscles may still feel slack. Your doctor will also feel your abdomen to check for tenderness and your breasts for lumps or abnormal nipple discharge. If you are breastfeeding, he or she will make sure you don’t have any clogged ducts or the beginnings of a breast infection (mastitis). Your doctor will check to be sure your perineum is healing if you had an episiotomy or tore during delivery. During the internal exam, he or she will also check to make sure any bruises, scratches, or tears to your cervix or vagina are healing properly. He or she will also feel your ovaries and check your vaginal muscle tone. The topic of sex and contraception will be discussed as getting pregnant again is very easy after having your baby. Your emotional health will be brought up – how you are feeling and adjusting, how the baby is doing, and if you are experiencing any postpartum depression. This is a good time to bring up any questions or concerns you have that he or she hasn’t addressed. As well, some lab tests may be done. He or she may also perform a Pap smear at this visit.

Now, let me tell you what happened at my postpartum appointment! Nothing!!!

I went down to the hospital for my appointment, with my mother and daughter in tow! I checked in and waited about 15 minutes before being called in. Great right? Pretty quick for a ObGyn! So, I was weighed – I won’t divulge that info! My blood pressure was taken, back to my normal 100 over 70. And the nurse asked how I was feeling, how I was adjusting, and about contraception. Then, she gave me a hug and said “hope to see you soon! Good luck with everything and take care. The doctor will be in soon.” Ok, we figured it was about 11:05am we should be out soon. At 11:45am my daughter started to get very hungry. I’m not breasfeeding and was hoping to be able to leave to go home and feed her but the nurse said I had to wait. I then searched for hot water to warm up her bottle. At 12:20pm (almost 2 hours in) my mom left to wait in the car to avoid getting a ticket. At 12:25 – the doctor (as wonderful as she is) finally came in and asked me how I was feeling and adjusting and about contraception. Then she gave me a hug and said “hope to see you soon! Good luck with everything and take care. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you”. Umm! Excuse me?! Where’s my internal? Where’s my abdomen check? Where’s my breast check? I sat here for 2 hours to have the same conversation twice – which only lasted 5 minutes – and to have my blood pressure checked?!?! I could have gone to the drugstore checked my blood pressure myself, called with the result and talked to you about how I was feeling!!! What a waste of time!

Thanks for letting me vent!

April Fool

caboozan — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 00:50:53 +0000

I don’t have any pranks, tricks, or jokes – just couldn’t think of a good title!

I’m sitting at my computer quietly typing away as my baby sleeps in the baby bjorn strapped to my body. I’m playing ocean sounds on youtube to keep her in a state of blissful sleep. Apparently, babies go right into the REM cycle and for the first 25 minutes of sleep are easily woken. As we have a dinner to get to in an hour, I’m trying to keep her sleeping for 30 minutes – this way she will have passed from the easily woken cycle (25 minutes) into the deep sleep cycle (another 25 minutes). I have become a temporary slave to my daughter!

She really likes to be held, which is wonderful – but then I can’t do anything. I know I shouldn’t always hold her but right now…as they say, you can’t spoil a newborn! Having her in the baby bjorn allows her to ‘be held’/close to me, and keeps my hands free to get some “work” done (tidying up, emailing, ect) and then once she’s fast asleep I lie her down and then I lie down. Next week, she’ll be 6 weeks and we’re going to start sleep training her. I’m not quite sure what that is (the clear definition) but basically we’re going to put her down before she’s asleep and if she cries we’ll let her cry for 5 minutes or so, so she can start to develop the ability to self soothe. Right now she sleeps in a bassinet in our room and we’ll keep it that way for a bit longer, but self soothing is important for her growth, development, and future ability to deal with life. We won’t get into the psychology of child rearing here but there’s also the topic of delaying gratification.

Anyhoo, it is definitely hard hearing her cry when she’s upset as we can’t fix it. But like any new parent, we run through the list – wet? hungry? bored? overstimulated? hot? cold? tired? overtired? gassy? Lately it’s been overtired.

I’m approaching my 30 minute mark so I’ll be going! Take care!